synnet | 02 | @hearse

[ well, that's quite the mental update. while ishmael isn't reeling from the download's sappy effects, she is in the mood to yap and gossip -- which is typically unlike her at all. and so, while they're all still waiting for the download to finish, she's got this to ask on their shared network. ]

Looks like this is going to take a while. And I know that most of us here were haunted by certain dreams a while back, me included. It's something I've already gone through back home so I'm not too bothered with it now, but I'm going to go ahead and ask anyway.

What are some of your happier memories?

That's probably easier said than done, though. You don't even have to think too far back and just share whatever made you happy since coming here. It's corny, sure, but we could definitely need some cheering up after all that on top of this horribly hot weather.

Of course, if you're too shy to share them to everyone in the class, I get it. I know I am. You can just tell me privately if you trust me that much, or you don't have to say anything at all and just read or react to everyone's contributions instead. Also if anyone's gonna come here to say shit like "Oh I'm not gonna share anything :/" then do us all a favor and not waste our time. Thanks. 👍

[ ish is too embarrassed to share hers right now, if anyone's wondering 🧍‍♂️ of course, feel free to threadjack if needed. happy yapping!! ]

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[ damn??? fr???

this is definitely not what he was expecting when he arrives. he doesn't flinch, nor does he really react despite his initial surprise. instead, he simply seems to me waiting for her to speak, and it's... ??? probably the most difficult question she could have asked. there's no immediate response, instead, he seems to simply remain silent.

as if him being quiet would simply shift the topic in another direction. but, unlike in the tower, this method doesn't actually work (again). so, he just releases a slight sigh. ] Is all of this necessary to ask a question? [ this is an interrogation...

also, did he also just not answer, maybe. ]

Yes?

[ sorry, yuwon. you really should know this by now, but ishmael is never the type to mince words. time is precious!! ]

You know, I opted not to bring it up with you back at the party for her sake. Maybe you just needed some time to figure it out. I know I did.

[ and it took her quite a while, yeah. she should get where he's coming from, and yet -- ]

We've talked about her on and off. I would've trusted you with her because I actually like you. But if you don't actually feel the same way, I'd rather you not waste her time either. [ her fists clench as she looks away from him with a tiny huff. ] She's been waiting for a long time, you know. Not just for your answer, but... for everything.

[ her response is as straightforward as always, and there's not much else he can say her. especially, not with the clear conviction in her words. but, he does listen as much as he is capable of, almost awkwardly, as if this were the first time in his life he were being scolded. yet, it was the second time here, wasn't it?

he seems careful in his consideration. especially, with her admitting that she had also needed time. how much time was it for her to be this upset at him, though? ] It's complicated. [ he looks at the glove on his own hand briefly. a reminder to the tower, and of the inevitable future that loomed on the horizon. even without him there. he shakes it off before looking back at her. ] I know she's been waiting a lot.

[ he does feel bad for that and maybe for a brief second it can be seen in his features. ]

You can be mad. But, I can't rush my answer. [ ...

as if to correct her belatedly ☝️, jk, he looks like he's about to add something else on, but instead just clamps his mouth back shut. ]

[ wow, he can't be any more vague if he tried. though at this point, ishmael's used to this by now. yuwon will always be that awkward guy with a few words, and that's just who rodya's come to like. can't really judge her bestie when yuwon still has some good traits in him.

she holds her stern gaze at him for a minute longer, before dropping her hand down to her side with a sigh. there, he's free from the kabedon. but that doesn't mean ish is letting go of him just yet, especially when he was about to add to his statement only to decide against it at the last minute. ]

...I know. But you can't forget the possibility that she'd be gone tomorrow. And it might've been too late.

[ a pause. ]

She makes you happy, right? At least answer that.

Edited 2024-06-19 10:29 (UTC)

[ honestly, if this had come from anyone else, he would have simply walked away. yet, he comprehends how close they are to one another and how much they mean to each other. it's hard not to comprehend a bond that starts from a place beyond here. but, that said, it doesn't make this situation any less awkward for him.

especially with how tense it is. when she sighs and releases his grip, he gives a slight shrug of his shoulders. it's not that ishmael's wrong, but there were two sides of that argument. was it worth starting something when its end was inevitable? wasn't it simply logical to consider the distant future? as it stands, even if they simply returned as it was prior to all of this, could he share his burdens with someone else? while they're questions he's been considering, he chooses not to think about it for now.

instead, he thinks about her words. happy, huh? ] You've been using that word a lot today. [ is he really saying this in the middle of all this? yes. but, he does eventually reach up to pat her on the shoulder. ] When you asked about our memories here— [ happy ones. ]

She's in them.

[ damn.............

he's a guy of few words, and a pretty taciturn one at that. ishmael isn't usually sure if he's capable of sentimentalities like happy memories either. she can understand, though -- the tower seems like a horrible place to be, all things considered.

so hearing that he's been thinking about her this whole time is... ]

...Fine. I'll take your word on that.

[ he's trying oh so hard... ]

You make her happy too, you know. But that's not my story to tell. You'll have to hear the rest from her. [ the ball's in rodyu's court now. ] I didn't mean to pry, for the record. It's just that she's also pretty closed-off about her own feelings. The fact that she's already this animated because of you is pretty telling of the effect you have on her.

[ she just wants to feel special, after all. but doesn't everybody? ]

Edited 2024-06-20 09:44 (UTC)

[ she's correct in her assertion that yuwon wasn't necessarily skilled in expressing himself. if anything, he was far more the type to let people run with their assumptions; offering them little to nothing to go off of. but, considering what they've been through in this seven or so months, it felt more natural to answer her question than he initially thought it would be. ... or it just felt right.

what's even more surprising is what she follows it up with.

to be honest, he's never personally thought himself capable of bringing others happiness. at least not explicitly. before the tower, it was an even further removed concept to him. it's not from a lack of confidence as much as it stemmed from a set expectation he's had of the world. he seems to fall silent before he removes his hand from ishmael's shoulder. ] I can't say you didn't pry. [ lol,

but, he doesn't sound offended. ] I understand why you did. I might not have given you the answer you wanted, but I plan to talk with her soon. [ though, he's not sure he can promise it'll be what everyone wants to hear... ]

How long did it take you?

[ listen king... so long as rodya gets her well-deserved answer, it'll be more than enough. though ishmael wouldn't want to think of the scenario when yuwon would actually reject her, ugh.

anyway, she's a little stunned at the attention being turned on her instead, and wishes that she's as as good at redirecting them like wriothesley usually does. sigh. give her a moment to think about this. ]

Around two months? I could've sat on it for a while longer, but it was already apparent to me that he felt the same way. No use wasting what little time we have here.

[ no thanks to the people who clued her in on his subtle body language... thanks oomfs she owes you her life now. ]

Edited 2024-06-26 11:56 (UTC)

[ isn't it easier to see a situation when you're not the one involved in it? or so his eyes seem to say as they look at her with clear interest in what she has to say. it isn't like yuwon would ever utilize another person's experience as advice...

but, it's nice to know the perspective and circumstances exists. this is a horrible thought in theory, but the less you know. ] I see. [ there's definitely a piercing and awkward silence here as he's mulling over her words. ]

Well, I'll keep that in mind. [ ... ] It's true that we don't know how long we'll be here. But— [ he looks back towards her, before shaking his head as if brushing whatever he was going to say aside.

... and instead. ] As long as you're happy.

02 | @hearse

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